Fake: A person who alters there personality to fit in with other people, or groups.
I’m sure some of us have came across a fake Dominate, or have heard stories from others about them in the BDSM lifestyle. These Dom/Domme’s intentionally misrepresent themselves to manipulate submissives for there personal sexual needs. They don’t care or worry for the submissive physically or emotionally. They are selfish and abusive in there behavior to disrespect the power that has been given to them.
A fake Dom/Domme can be called by many different names. Poser, liar, predator, etc. They stalk BDSM sites and groups looking for there next newbie submissive or even one that has been in the lifestyle for a short amount of time. The fake Dominate knows how to use the right words and attitude so they can spend a lot of time grooming there new submissive. Some start out asking for you to call them Sir, Master, or Mistress before ever getting to know you as a person. (Red Flag). Some choose to first groom the submissive to gain there trust faster. They will start out with chit chat, like a used car salesman becoming your friend. They will spend hours a day each day in the beginning, messaging and cam calls. This is where they lure you in the get information about you. Example, if you have a good relationship with your partner. They want you to be dependent on them to validate you and how you feel about yourself.
Now after a couple of weeks they may suggest a contract between the submissive and themselves. Most fake Dominates ask for nudes by this time. The submissive wants to make there Dominate happy so they comply. They may even tell the submissive that there the one and need to own them.
A true Dom/Domme will take there time vetting a submissive. They are not in any hurry for selfish reasons. They may spend time each day vetting but not hours for they know you have responsibility’s and family comes first.
BDSM is an exchange between two, or more consenting adults, based on trust through communication, care, boundaries through play scenes with a Dom/Domme and submissive roles. A true Dominate will respect this exchange and remembers that it is the submissive is in control of the play scene and how it goes.
The difference between a real Dom/Domme and fake ones, this that real Dom/Dommes will have set ground rules and safe words in place before each play scene. The Dom/Domme also knows that boundaries are not to be crossed in anyway.
This is where a fake Dom/Domme can and will exploit the submissive and convince them the abuse is normal and part of the play scene. The submissive doesn’t know any different in what there being told as there new and want to make the Dominate happy. This isn’t the submissive fault, but that of the predator for using the BDSM lifestyle for there own needs.
Usually a new submissive doesn’t know there in this type of relationship until they leave it. After they feel ashamed and some leave the lifestyle .
There have become more fakes coming out of the woodwork since the fifty movies came out. Those movies are nothing like the BDSM lifestyle in my opinion.
We all need to share our knowledge so others can be educated not only on this subject but other subjects as well as in the lifestyle .