Aftercare is attention you give to your partner after an intense sexual experience or after regular vanilla sex.
Cuddling and talking about your sexual experience can and will bring you closer in your relationship. By being able to communicate what you liked and didn’t like can make for more an even hotter experience the next time.
Some men and women feel sad after an sexual experience. This is called post-coital dysphoria. Some experts feel that this may stem from hormonal changes, particularly after a woman has a vaginal orgasm they feel neglected which is called the orgasm gap. Women feel there needs are being ignored and people in general feel lousy post sex if there not communicating about the sexual experience they had, says Amanda Luterman a kink-friendly psychotherapist. Take the time Luterman suggest to be affectionate and talk after sex or if you have tried something new as in anal sex.
Aftercare is one of the important things you should do in the BDSM lifestyle. It rates up there with safety, boundaries, consenting, and communication.
You make think BDSM is all about pleasure and pain, handcuffs, floggers and whips but the main element is aftercare. We all want to feel safe and cared for by our partner.
According to Galen Fous a kink-positive sex therapist, and fetish educator, aftercare looks different for everyone, since sexual preferences, are so vast. In it’s most basic form, aftercare means communicating and taking care of each other.
There are a lot of guidelines for BDSM aftercare. It doesn’t matter if the scene is extreme or vanilla sex partners can still get sub -drop after endorphins crash and adrenaline floods there bodies.
Your partner should never be left alone during sub drop and I don’t recommend doing extreme scenes online because your not able to be there to have hands on your partner. A voice is not enough.
They need to be cuddled, maybe a warm bath together, a healthy snack to be eaten and always have something to drink after. It can take hours for aftercare and sometimes days if the scene was very extreme.
It is also helpful to continue to have discussions at the end of ones day. You can learn from the experience and maybe plan to try something new the next time.