BDSM

Aftercare

Aftercare is attention you give to your partner after an intense sexual experience or after regular vanilla sex.

Cuddling and talking about your sexual experience can and will bring you closer in your relationship. By being able to communicate what you liked and didn’t like can make for more an even hotter experience the next time.

Some men and women feel sad after an sexual experience. This is called post-coital dysphoria. Some experts feel that this may stem from hormonal changes, particularly after a woman has a vaginal orgasm they feel neglected which is called the orgasm gap. Women feel there needs are being ignored and people in general feel lousy post sex if there not communicating about the sexual experience they had, says Amanda Luterman a kink-friendly psychotherapist. Take the time Luterman suggest to be affectionate and talk after sex or if you have tried something new as in anal sex.

Aftercare is one of the important things you should do in the BDSM lifestyle. It rates up there with safety, boundaries, consenting, and communication.

You make think BDSM is all about pleasure and pain, handcuffs, floggers and whips but the main element is aftercare. We all want to feel safe and cared for by our partner.

According to Galen Fous a kink-positive sex therapist, and fetish educator, aftercare looks different for everyone, since sexual preferences, are so vast. In it’s most basic form, aftercare means communicating and taking care of each other.

There are a lot of guidelines for BDSM aftercare. It doesn’t matter if the scene is extreme or vanilla sex partners can still get sub -drop after endorphins crash and adrenaline floods there bodies.

Your partner should never be left alone during sub drop and I don’t recommend doing extreme scenes online because your not able to be there to have hands on your partner. A voice is not enough.

They need to be cuddled, maybe a warm bath together, a healthy snack to be eaten and always have something to drink after. It can take hours for aftercare and sometimes days if the scene was very extreme.

It is also helpful to continue to have discussions at the end of ones day. You can learn from the experience and maybe plan to try something new the next time.

Miss Scarlett Red. Kisses

2 thoughts on “Aftercare”

  1. Very good article, lots of good information in here. After care is so vital regardless of off or online. I would love to hear more thoughts about have an intense session online. I know how it worked from my own experiences but would love to hear others opinions and experiences.
    As a sub I have done some very intense sessions, the first without aftercare, I did not even know there was such a thing. Looking back I think perhaps I had subdrop, I would fall into this deep hole of shame, embarrassment and self hatred. I was a freak and something was wrong with me. These bouts are actually what led our parting ways.
    The next intense sessions were over the top, I fell deeper into subspace . My Dom never left me like that. Sometimes he would get worried when I not responding, but we had worked out plan ahead of time if it ever got to the point I would not respond. But he always knew what to do to gently bring me out of it and he would stay on phone or chat until he felt secure that I was safe. He then was never out of contact the rest of the day.
    So i believe it is safe and fun (if you are into the mental aspect) if you discuss it before hand and make a plan. If you skip this stage it could be dangerous.
    I look forward to hearing other comments

    Liked by 1 person

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